Being Sex Worker Affirming Will Make You a Better Person
How committing to unlearning and growth will improve your relationships
In a recent essay for Tryst, Georgie Wolf, a Melbourne-based escort, writer, and educator, asked the question, “How much fun should I be having at work?” In it, she briefly reflected on the experience of dating as a sex worker. She described navigating the insecurities of a former partner, and sex work stigma as it showed up in their relationship. She also describes the anxiety she felt around enjoying some aspects of the work, as well as the pressure she felt to emphasize the more negative or annoying experiences, in order to placate and sooth her partner’s ego — all while feeling, privately, like his concerns and complaints were, frankly, ridiculous.
Her essay made me reflect on some of my own experiences of dating as a sex worker. In the past four years, I’ve been in two relationships, both with cis het white men who claimed upfront to know what’s up with stripping, or “what the game is,” while proving through their actions over time not only that they very much did not understand the relational nuances of dating a sex worker, but also that they were not very interested in learning. An early argument with my recent ex, for example, was over the fact that I texted regulars: something that he, as a…
